A Reporter's Online Notebook

by Chris Dixon

Entry #4 Why Don't We Karaoke?
Or, Excerpts from a Brainstorm

During rehearsal at the Charleston Coliseum, Jimmy had a conversation with producers Stan Kellum and Sid Strong regarding how to perform "Why Don't We Get Drunk". For those of you wondering how a show evolves, the following excerpts from a brainstorm might offer some hilarious insight. --Chris Dixon

JB: We should do a Mission Impossible and karaoke to Get Drunk this year.

Stan: We can even have the bouncing ball on the screen above the lyrics.

JB: (laughing) Hell, let's put it in Japanese, they all know the words anyway. (pauses and laughs) We can hand the mics to the audience.

Stan: You know you could almost do...a skit. Sell the band on the idea.

Stan: You could be on a dry eraser board, and then everyone leaves. You turn around and there's nobody there.

JB: Then I walk into the next room and there's a tape going: "good evening Mr. Buffett, this tape will self destruct and turn into shameless karaoke."

Stan: Terrific.

JB: Hilarious. (yells) Utley! I've got news for you guys. I think I've got exciting news. (Utley walks over) I don't think the band's gonna have to play Get Drunk and Screw.

Utley: Oh, are we getting a rest?

JB: No, no, no, it's not that easy. We're in a room and I'm in front of a blackboard with the band, and I'm saying: "I got it! For this year, we're gonna have sharks come outta here and a waterbed comes in, and girls, you bring the whipped cream and then Victoria's Secret models"... and you guys go, "ah, no!" and start walking out -- leaving in disgust. Then it cuts to me, walking in with a briefcase and tape recorder, and it says, "Good Day Mr. Buffett, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to try, without shaming yourself, or any member of your family, to do Get Drunk and Screw; and also keep people from going to the bathroom, to get a beer or paying no attention whatsoever." Then we go out and do karaoke with the audience.

Utley: Great! So all we've really gotta film is the opening scene.

JB: Stan, if you'll script it out. I think the cheesier the better, and if...

Stan: You know, you should have Johnny (trumpeter, John Lovell) be the only one left in the room, going, "great idea Jimmy."

JB: (Snaps his fingers) I've got it. Here's what we can do. We have Johnny Martini be the Mission Impossible guy who brings me the briefcase, then he goes out and shoots the city stuff. Have him walkin' down Wabash Avenue.

Stan: (laughs) Tell him he's gotta do it in every city wearing the plastic ass, and then he protests the ass.

JB: (To Utley) Youcould be in the astronaut outfit with the ass. (much laughter)

Utley: Is the suit still here? I can be in the spacesuit yelling: "I'm not wearing this plastic ass anymore!"

JB: And then Johnny Martini comes out dressed like a Blues Brother.

(Johnny shows up)

Stan: He comes in and leaves the briefcase.

JB: No, after everyone else leaves, he's still there and hands me the briefcase going, "you might want to have a look at this."

Stan: So we start with him and the briefcase traveling through the city, and then we go into this scenario with the band.

JB: And everybody leaves but Johnny Martini and the briefcase.

Stan: Then you open it up, and it comes on, blah, blah, shameless karaoke, this message will self destruct, the machine starts smoking and then the karaoke starts.

John Lovell: And who am I supposed to be?

JB: The Mission Impossible guy!

Stan: You're delivering the message to Jimmy.

JB: So what do we do for this at dress rehearsal? I guess we'll just tell the audience that we've got something really special for Get Drunk, but it's not quite ready, you'll just have to come up to Raleigh to see it.

Behind the Scenes Video:

Entry 4 Compilation. (This compiles both of the below Quicktimes into one) 2:18. 1.4 MB.

I'm Not Wearing This Plastic Ass! 1:02. 642Kb.

Johnny's Job . 1:04 Seconds. 646Kb.



Video Clips created in Quicktime 4.
Click to download QT for Mac or PC. (you've got to have ver.4!)